


Lying Is Only Human

by heavyweather



Series: I Promise You [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Avatar & Benders Setting, Angst, Brotherly Love, Coming of Age, Fluff, Leaving Home, M/M, Magical Realism, Running Away, Slow Burn, Sort Of, also caves, but the main plot arch deals with their friendship, but you can read it how you like, ill update the tags as i go i guess, okay so jongdae and sehun aren't together, there are more storms in this than i thought, there isn't a lot of romance in this au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-01-07 17:27:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12237411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavyweather/pseuds/heavyweather
Summary: it wasnt a big deal and he didnt want it to be. thats why he never really mentioned his family to his friends. he didnt talk like a prince and he didnt walk like a prince and he wasnt a prince. he was jongdae. kim jongdae. the fire bender. that was it. he didnt want to be anything else.it wasnt a big deal.





	1. Monsters In The Night

**Author's Note:**

> ah yes so this is my first fic thats not reader insert, so I'm not sure how it will turn out. jongdae isn't the main character of this au but he plays a big part in the sceem of things so i feel like his backstory had to be well built. if i have the time between school and other things ill be updating sort of regularly. ah i hope you all like it! tell me what you think!

he was cold. jongdae was cold and wet and felt sick and hungry. cold, wet, sick, hungry, and overall just really shitty. 

he should have packed more before leaving. he should have nicked some of anabellas rolls from the kitchen. they were always really sweet and made him feel better. she could have given him some food and maybe a blanket and he could have said goodbye. 

but he was mad and couldn’t breathe and he could barely see let alone be able to think clearly enough to bring anything other than another set of clothes and his tooth brush. it's been a few weeks and he felt dirty and sick and hungry. and it was now raining. 

when jongdae was hiding out in the palace city it was easy to get a decent meal and a couch to sleep on. he had a few friends around. youngbae, from the tattoo place, had taken him in for a night or two, but once jiyong had started asking questions, jongdae felt it was better to leave before youngbae made him go back home. he left a note to the two. it was more than he did for his own family.

but he’s now out closer to the shore, right on the edge of a thick forest and a harbor that's full of people. and food, from the smell of it. but there wasn’t much he could do. jongdae wasn’t just going to steal from these people. he’s seen the papers about the trading industry and these people should keep everything they can get. they don’t receive much.

but he was cold and the tree he was laying on was uncomfortable and had no covering to save him from the rain. jongdae was wet and pretty sure he was getting the flu or something. and he was hungry.

it was getting darker out, the sun going over the tops of the trees and leaving room of the moon. if he was going to have anything to eat before dark, jongdae would have to go now. 

he shifts a little, careful not to slip on the wet branch, and reaches behind him to pull out his coin pouch. there was two silver pieces and one copper piece left. mother would never let him carry around too much money and jongdae apparently wasn’t thinking straight enough to grab his stash of gold pieces under his bed before he left. 

jongdae sighed as he slung his bag over his shoulder and started down the trunk. it was slimy and there weren’t a lot of places to put his feet. the two times he slipped, his heart almost stopped. 

once jongdae reached the ground, he stopped to catch his breath. even though he had lessons every day back at the palace, jongdae had never been very athletic. always getting out of breath before his brother, always having to take more breaks, always having to give up sooner. jongdae loved bending, it made him feel alive. it filled him with energy, lighting up his whole body to the point where it felt like he would burst. but with all that energy comes the tendency to loose control more, to tire out quicker. it had always been easier for jongmin to control his ability. 

but jongdae wasn’t at the palace anymore. he wouldn't have lessons anymore. he wouldn't have to glare at his brother anymore. instead he was in the forest while it was raining. and he was soaking wet. and hungry.

jongdae released a small puff of fire into his hands while he walked. they were freezing, have been since it started raining. he should have brought more clothes. 

the smell that was coming from the harbor was getting closer with every step. the wet leaves were sticking to the bottom of jongdae's boots, leaving streets on his ankles while he walked. his bangs stuck to his forehead from the rain and he kept his arms tucked around his waist. trying to keep some of his body heat in. it was colder on the ground. 

the trees started to thin out. the leaves on the ground were started to disappear. soon jongdae stepped onto a small cobble stone path. it looked handmade. like each stone was chosen carefully. it looked muddy, with all the people walking on it in the rain. but it was still very pretty.

the path leaded to a street full of booths. some open with small awnings covering themselves. some that looked to be small restaurants with homey feels to them. children were running around, playing in the mud and rain. parents had umbrellas, smiling warmly at their kids. it looked nice. like the streets of the royal city. jongdae missed this. 

a gust of wind came by and snapped jongdae out of his thoughts. a shiver ran through him while his stomach growled. jongdae needed to eat and get somewhere warm fast. before he really got sick. 

deciding that he needed food first, jongdae went into the first shop he came upon. it was dark, with only about two windows. there was only three people around the tables. a man near the front counter who looked to be asleep, a woman near the fireplace with a sound-asleep baby in her arms, and the worker behind the counter. 

as jongdae walked farther into the shop, he started to warm up. his arms fell from his sides and his back became uncurled. he was still dripping wet, his boots squeaking with every step.

the worker didn’t take his eyes off of jongdae as he walked to the counter. probably thought he was a drifter or someone who just wanted shelter from the rain. 

“what can i get with two silver pieces that's warm?” jongdae said in a hushed tone, not wanting to wake up the baby near the fireplace. he pulled out his coin pouch from his bag and fished out the wet pieces of metal.

“i'll take one for a bowl of fish soup.” the worker glanced at the now empty coin pouch and then up at jongdae's face. he looked like he pitted jongdae. like he wanted to help. like he felt bad. 

jongdae sighed and passed over the money and bowed a little. the worker went behind a partition, to where he assumed the kitchen was, and jongdae turned back around to the rest of the shop. 

the fireplace was bright and warm and he felt compelled to go sit by it. the woman was at the closest table, the one right in front of the fire. she looked at jongdae as he sat down. her hand was on her babies back, moving in small circles. jongdae could hear soft snores from his little nose.

“you have a very beautiful baby ma’am.” jongdae tried to smile his brightest, but suspected it came off as weak and small. these two look like a proper family. 

the woman's almost scared expression fades away when she notices the smile though, so it must have done its job. 

“thank you.” she was quiet, but sounded sincere. she leaned her head closer to her baby and clutched tighter. jongdae smiled and looked into the fire.

it was red around the edges with an almost white color near the wood. it looks healthy, the flame. well taken cared for. nurtured into the strong thing it is now. the warmth it provided was strong, jongdae could feel it on his skin, around his eyes, in his bones. the heat made his wet clothes a little uncomfortable, but it just felt so good to be warm that jongdae didn’t mind. 

it took awhile for the worker to come back out with his soup. in the meantime jongdae tried to raise his body temperature. with subtle spikes of his bending around the coldest parts of his body; figures, toes, and fingers. jongdae wasn’t so sure if the woman or worker would appreciate blasts of fire in such a comfortable atmosphere, so jongdae kept his bending to himself. focusing on trying to evaporate some of the water from his clothes. 

jongdae also shuffled closer to the fire, being drawn to the warmth and power he felt just being near fire again. 

when the worker finally came back, he was carrying a tray. with the soup, an extra roll, and a cup of tea. jongdae was confused for a second, but once he saw the workers face; pity, worry- jongdae thanked him and started eating. 

it wasn’t the best thing, the soup, but it made his throat feel better. as much as he hungry, jongdae knew that he shouldn’t take what he doesn’t deserve. so after he ate his soup, he passed the roll and tea over to the woman across from himself. 

“have a nice night, ma’am.” he reached out to stoke the babies soft hair. he crinkled his nose and jongdae smiled. “stay dry.” 

the lady didn’t look like she wanted to take jongdae's food. probably thought that he was starving and sick and could use the extra calories. but she bowed her head a little and said the same to jongdae. 

out of the small window, jongdae could see that the rain had gotten rougher, harsher. shop signs were rocking back and forth, almost hitting buildings. there was thunder in the distance and normally that sound would be comforting to jongdae, it just made jongdae realize that his night in his tree was going to be rough one. 

it almost made jongdae ask if the shop had someplace to sleep for the night, but he had already felt too needy to stay longer. 

with a sigh and one last small heat boost to his fingers, jongdae opened the door and quietly slid out of the shop. 

-

the wind had the rain spraying into jongdae's face. pelting him in the eyes and, more than once, almost pushing him over. it hurt to open his eyes and his body temperature was dropping fast. he felt like shit. 

none of the people jongdae saw before were out and about anymore. it seemed like he was the only one crazy enough to brave the storm. the shops were boarded up and windows were shut. everyone was inside, dry and warm. jongdae hadn’t been dry in hours. 

he’s never been to the harbor, at least not this one, and he didn’t know where he was going. following the stone path seemed like the most helpful plan, so that was what he was doing. leafs were littered across the path, covered in mud and sticking together. 

jongdae briefly wondered if they were warm like that. huddled together in the rain.

the wind was picking up even more. to the point where jongdae had to squeeze his eyes shut and stop in his tracks, willing hims legs not to give out under him. his knees were wobbling and his teeth were shattering and he couldn’t feel his toes. jongdae's never been this cold in his life. he didn’t know it could get this cold in the fire nation. 

for a few seconds the wind died down, allowing jongdae to look around before the rain blocked everything within five feet of him. It didn’t help that the sun had gone done by now, leaving the world draped in a cloak of navy. it looked like he passed the shops awhile ago. the path was now surrounded by trees on one side and docks on the other. 

the waves were going crazy. lapping against boats and over onto the tops of docs. white foam was everywhere, making the water look grey. the sound of water on wood suddenly filled jongdae's ears, replacing the howling wind. 

jongdae didn’t want to go back to his tree. it was cold and uncomfortable and he would probably fall off the branch with all the wind. but he desperately didn’t want to be cold anymore. he felt sick and shivery. his head hurt and his wet hair just felt gross against his forehead. 

he started towards the docs.

some were high up, leaving little coves under the wood and between the small jut of land they were built off of. some had boat houses, probably a trading port or some rich families. 

jongdae leaned against one of the posts, weighing his options. under the doc, he would be safe from the rain, but there was a possibility of being soaked by the waves. in the boat house, he would be dry and have the possibility to get warm again, but someone could catch him seeking around and then possibly send him back to the royal city. 

he glanced back at the doc and then at the boathouse. 

he was cold and so so so wet and he just wanted to sleep somewhere dry. 

boat house it is. 

it was smaller than it looked on the outside. there was a boat hanging from the ceiling, swaying a little with how much the wind was shaking the building. the chains were rattling and a rope hanging down from the stern was knocking against the floor. 

as soon as the door closed behind jongdae he slumped against the wall, his clothes making a little ring of water. one more shiver and then jongdae was sliding down and huffing when he finally didn’t have to support himself. he wiggled his bag out from behind his back, tossing it a few feet away from where he was sitting. 

then he brought his hands up to his lips, blowing a few little puffs of fire into them. jongdae shivered again, realizing that he wouldn’t be able to fully heat up until he as out of his soaking clothes.

jongdae's wet, clingy clothes felt terrible sliding against his cold skin. his shirt skidded across his arms and his pants wouldn’t go over his feet. they both made a horrible slapping sound when they landed against the floor. jongdae's extra pair of clothes were a little damp, from being in his bag the whole rain storm. 

but they were easy to warm up and jongdae didn’t feel so gross anymore. he brought his knees closer to his chest, pulling his arms across his stomach. 

once his hands were against his hips, he leaned forward and started directing his ability to his palms. jongdae felt warmth bloom against his back and stomach, slowly spreading up his neck and down his legs. his skin tingled with the sensation and he sighed. 

jongdae let his head hang down on his chest, his chin resting in the middle. his eyes started tracing the lines in the wood. flowing over the knots and notches. around the puddles from his clothes and through the dark spots. it all looked so natural. 

while heat spread to his feet and his shoulders, jongdae leaned back on the wall, his eyes lidded and his breath slow. the boat was still swaying, back and forth, passing over jongdae's feet and then close to the window across from him. 

even with the boat still swaying, it sounded like the wind had died down slightly. though jongdae was happy he was finally out of the storm. his hair was still wet, but the rest of his body was warm and soft and he felt so tingly. 

he felt so tired. 

he felt so calm. 

he felt so alone.

it's been about a month since jongdae left and he’s had no contact with any of his family since the fight with his brother. 

jongdae misses when he was little and jongmin would stay up talk with him. they would laugh about something funny that happened at the palace, someone tripping, the maids telling funny stories, their nanny daesoo getting all flustered over one of the shofer boys winked at her. 

jongdae missed when the shadows in his room would taunt him and he would goes to jongmin's room and ask to sleep with him. he missed rough housing with jongmin in the gardens, trying to waste time before their mother called for dinner. 

but things happened and they grew up and everything changed. 

jongmin yelled, jongdae screamed. and then he left. 

he left his bed, he left his room, he left everything. and as much as he felt free to be himself. jongdae missed the little things. 

jongdae closed his eyes with a sigh. he was no longer shivering, the unpleasant chill to his bones now replaced with a blanket of warmth. it was probably the middle of the night by now. and if jongdae hoped to do anything tomorrow he had to sleep. 

he supposed the floor wasn’t the most comfortable thing to sleep on, but the only other thing in the boathouse was the boat, which couldn’t be any softer. jongdae kept his hands on his torso as he laid down. the ceiling was dark, with shadows made the whole room look smaller, colder. 

after a few minutes, jongdae felt warm enough to take his hands away from his sides. he put one behind his head and brought the other up in front of him. little wisps of flame began floating around his fingers. flittering between them and making cute little designs. 

it made jongdae feel a little better, having a little light in the dark room. the feeling of warmth swimming around his hand. warmth that he created himself. it was a part of him. jongdae could control it, make it spin and twirl and hop around. it was a part of him and he loved it.

soon, jongdae's flame flickered out and he was surrounded by black again. there was shadows on the ceiling, his tired state making him see shapes, but the moonlight was coming through the small window. but jongdae knew they weren’t there, jongdae knew he wasn’t a kid any more and monsters weren’t real. 

he wasn’t a kid anymore.

jongdae turned on his side with a huff and closed his eyes. he listened to the rain outside and focused on bringing down his breathing.

he wasn’t a kid anymore.


	2. Don't Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jongdae hates boats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all like it!!
> 
> -
> 
> i did say slow burn, so trust me, its gonna be /slow burn/

jongdae hated boats. they were big and unsteady and rocked back and forth and he never liked them. jongdae gets seasick easily, throws up multiple times whenever his family took a boat to get to ember island for vacation. 

there's nothing to really stop him from getting sick. not even sitting in one of the rooms where he can’t tell if the boat is rocking or not. his stomach can tell and that's all the matters. daesoo would bring him a wastebasket and a cold towel to wipe his face, which was always nice, but that didn’t stop his stomach from launching last night's dinner from his body. 

jongdae hates boats. which is why he’s pretty sure he’s gone insane when he decides to sneak onto one.

-

it's been a few days after the storm and jongdae was officially out of money. he tried to catch some fish, using a fishing rod he found in the boat house, but all he caught were little guppies or crabs that got entangled in the string. they were good, but the little creatures can only last so long. 

when he wasn’t trying to fish, he was walking around the village. everyone said hello to him, treated him kindly. the lady from the night with the storm was around, always with her baby in her arms. sometimes he’d be sleeping and sometimes he wasn’t. 

when he is, jongdae doesn’t speak, just bows a little to the lady and pets the top of his head. it's so soft. when the baby isn’t asleep, jongdae waves hello and coos a little, trying to make him laugh. 

mostly jongdae's trying to find a little money. offering to help shop owners, working a little on the few gardens around. they don’t give a lot, normally just a few copper pieces and a smile, but jongdae doesn’t mind. these people are nice and he would want to help them even if they didn’t give him anything.

he learned awhile ago that it's better to help people than to force them to do things. 

but as of two days ago, jongdae was to of money and therefore out of anything to buy food with. and as much as the guppies and crabs were good, they aren’t that filling. 

plus jongdae was pretty sure that the owners of the boat house were starting to suspect something. they started locking up the little cabinet where the fishing rods were and jongdae didn’t want to melt the lock in fear of being found out. 

a day after jongdae ran out of money, a trading ship came into port. it didn’t look like an imperial ship, which was good, because they would recognize jongdae in a heartbeat. 

it was a little small, but the men were carrying out crates from below deck so it must be bigger than it looked. there weren’t a lot of workers on the ship, just a few men and deckhands. jongdae hadn’t seen a captain, but he assumed there was one. 

while walking around the docs, trying to get a good look at the ship without being too obvious, jongdae overheard a group of old sailors talking about trading routes. 

“on yeah, the newest one is heading out to the big port near the earth kingdom. should make a good profit, what with all the fish they got from us.” the group grumbled, but jongdae's face light up in a smile. 

a way to eat and be safer from being sent back home? wonderful.

-

the smell of uncooked fish mixed with the way jongdae's stomach was sloshing around just made him feel so much sicker. why in the world did jongdae think hiding with the fish was a good idea?

there was a loud pounding sound coming from the top of the deck that made jongdae jump. the small yelp he let out only had jongdae covering his mouth at the sensation of something coming up his throat.

jongdae was standing by a porthole, trying to make his head clear by breathing some clean air. but so far all the small window had been good for was letting jongdae chuck stomach acid into the ocean instead of on his shoes. 

the ship tilted to the right slightly and it had jongdae's eyes bugging out and his body weight crashing down in the hardwood beneath him. the wall of the boat was hard against his back as jongdae tried to catch his breath. 

the compartment he was in now was dark and smelled gross. there were flies everywhere and jongdae was surprised that none of the fish had come back to life with the unearthly smell coming from the crates. 

the only plus to hiding with the fish was that jongdae would have dinner every night he was on the boat, which would probably be awhile. from what jongdae remembers from his geography lessons, the port where they were headed was near the tip of a chain of islands leading away from the mainland. 

the boat made a sudden lurch and jongdae had to close his eyes tight, trying not to throw up. jongdae was so focused on trying to calm his stomach that he didn’t notice the compartment door open and two men climbing down the stairs attached to it. 

“would it kill the captain to put out a few candles? it sticks down here.” at the sound of a voice, jongdae's head snapped towards the source. he saw a glimpse one of the man's head and scooted in between two of the barrels. it was a tight squeeze and something was digging into jongdae's side, but he didn’t want to get caught. 

“you know him, he’s too cheap to shell out any more than ten silver pieces.” another voice joined the first, it sounded a little scruffier. though jongdae couldn’t see, he heard a few scraping noises. the men were probably moving around barrels, maybe trying to make more space for more cargo. “we only need to get a few fish for the cook and then we can leave.” 

jongdae held his breath as he heard the two men rummage around the compartment. his eyes snapped shut when he recognized the sound of close footsteps. the men were loud, uncaring as they went through the barrels looking for fish. 

there was sounds of fish slapping the wood floor and boot stomping. jongdae didn’t know how these men classified ‘a few fish’ but it sound sounded like they were trying to create a school of them. they were taking forever to collect what they needed. jongdae's chest started to burn, a sure sign that if these men didn’t leave soon, he would pass out. 

his eyes were still shut and his knees were pulling up to his chest, his hands around his shins. 

there was the sound of grunts and then the compartment door closing right after jongdae started to get lightheaded. he let out a giant breath and collapsed on the floor, chest heaving and eyes blinking rapidly, trying to make the spots in his vision disappear. 

jongdae layed there for a few minutes, breathing and staring at the ceiling. if the next week was going to consist of him not breathing and hiding in-between dead fish, jongdae wanted out. 

there was another sudden lurch of the boat and jongdae's stomach flipped. before he could register anything, jongdae was rolling onto his hands and knees, barfing behind a barrel

jongdae hated boats.

-

thankfully, the week passed by faster than jongdae expected. 

he had still been sick through most of it, sleeping behind barrels to try and ignore the urge to upchuck his intestines every time the ship so much as moved a foot. he still had to hide every time someone came into the compartment. he still hated boats.

but jongdae knew how to entertain himself. he knew that he hated the calm, he hated the feeling of the cold, he hated the idea of being alone. but he knew how to handle it. 

when he wasn’t sleeping or throwing up, jongdae was practicing. making little twirls of fire or spinning his fire around his limbs to keep him warm. sitting in the middle of the compartment, surrounded by barrels, and burning designs into the wood of the floor. making little flowers out of the oak or small snowflakes. turning his secluded corner into something beautiful.

jongdae would practice his breathing, and try to work on control. focusing on only one finger and trying to direct as much energy into it, pulling the heat in his gut into his finger, watching as a little flame burst to life right above his nail. then trying to slowly move the flame over the tips of his fingers, stopping at his pinky. 

when three days past, the crew members had emptied one barrel, with the added help of jongdae taking two fish a day for himself. he used the wood from the barrel to scorch and burn patterns into, smiling as spirals and lightning bolts etched into the surface of the wood. he took the metal world and melted it just enough to mold utensils, tired of having to pick at the fish with his hands. 

on the fifth day, jongdae started to get antsy. he wanted get off the ship as soon as possible. practicing was fun and it distracted jongdae from the unpleasant swirling sensation in his stomach, but he itched to be able to actually bend. he was getting tired of being restricted to burning wood and practicing temperature control. it was never his favorite lesson.

jongdae had taken to keeping the porthole open, it provided a nice breeze and it helped jongdae clear his head. but the ship compartment was still damp and musty. most of the time, it felt as if jongdae could swing a cup around and have it turn up full. 

jongdae loved water, it was only a natural thing to like something he spent so much time around. his family would go to ember island almost every summer. in-between his father's business trips and his mother's parties. jongmin and him would splash around in the ocean and build sand castles. their nanny laughing when one of them showed her one of the crabs they found. 

water was almost as much a constant in jongdae's life as fire was. it was warm and soothing and jongdae loved be engulfed by it. when he was little, he would raise his body temperature during his baths to feel the little bubbles against his skin, the sensation making him giggle and the royal bathers laugh along with him. 

but now jongdae felt damp and sick. every morning when he woke up, it felt as if his clothes were bunked into a pot of cabbage water. and then left out to dry over salt. it made jongdae's skin crawl when he thought about it. he was honestly surprised that the fish didn’t smell worse than they already did.

but by the time jongdae came to the realization that his clothes stunk like salt covered barf, it was one more night before the ship made its final stop. tian island. one more night before he could finally get off of this terrible ship and walk on solid ground again. one more night befor he could release all of his energy and bend again. for real.

that night, jongdae fell asleep in much the same way as his first night in the boat house. on the ground, in slightly damp clothes, messing around with tiny buds of fire before jongdae's eyes started slipping closed and the dark shadows surrounded him.

-

getting off the ship was not as easy as it was to get on the ship. the crew was everywhere, desperate to get the smelly fish off of their boat and to cast off before they could get anymore from the villagers at the small harbor. 

jongdae recognized the sound of ropes and chains being slung around when he woke up. above him, on deck, he could make out clear stomps of boots and barrels on wood. looking around him, jongdae became aware that if the crew kept taking out barrels, he would be found soon. the thought of being found out after a week was mortifying, so he tried to think of a plan. 

crouching behind the few barrels left in the compartment, jongdae peeked over the edge just as three men came storming in; out of breath and red faced.

“if captain wanted all this damn fish, why doesn’t he move it all?” jongdae recognized the voice of man as one of the guys that came into the compartment the first night on the ship. “instead of making us do all the dirty work. i'm not gonna be able to get the stench of rotting fish out of my coat for weeks.” 

there was a laugh coming from another direction and the barrel next to jongdae was lifted up. jongdae blanched and snuck back down to the floor.

“if you’re so concerned about fish stench, why don’t you go cuddle up to that girl you were talking to out there.” the compartment was suddenly quiet, except for the grunts of the men lifting barrels. 

“suddenly fish stench isn’t so bad.” jongdae hadn’t moved an inch, but he saw a shadow next to him move. then the barrel on the other side of him was lifted. jongdae was sure that he would be found out soon.

taking a breath, closing his eyes, and trying to slow his beating heart, jongdae tried to listen for when the men started up the steps. when he heard the first thump of boot on step, jongdae sprang up and started running straight towards the doors. 

a second later the men stopped in their tracks and turned their heads, the last two having the unfortunate fate of jongdae's hands being smashed into their faces as he used their bodies as a boost to run onto of the barrels. 

as soon as the men started yelling, jongdae knew it was a bad idea, the tops of the barrels breaking open, his boots getting covered in fish slime, large hands trying to grab onto his ankles. after the fifth barrel, jongdae started screaming with them, out of pure peer pressure. 

in the short amount of time jongdae was on the barrels, he focused his energy to his feet, warming them to the point there if the men tried to touch them, they cried out in shock at the temperature. it was a little silly when jongdae thought about it, but before he knew it, the doors were being swung shut behind him and his hands were melting the iron lock shut. 

the men pounded on the door, yelling to be let out, but jongdae just turned and sprinted down the corridor. 

it would take a few minutes before the remaining crew members arrived, either attracted by the noise of the men or searching for the barrels. jongdae didn’t want to be around when they showed up. 

the rough memory of the ship's layout came back to jongdae then, right as he came to the second set of stairs. jongdae paused on the first step, breathing hard. the stairs either led to the deck or to the barracks. he couldn’t remember which. 

the yells down the hall became louder, the men seemed to be out. jongdae shot his head over his shoulder, just as the first man around the corner. he thought he had more time.

“there he is!” the man yelled and then started off running directly e\at jongdae. which in turn made jongdae squeak and start scrambling up the stairs. 

it was loud and jongdae's breathing was fast and he almost slipped twice in his effort to get away from the mob behind him. after glancing behind him, seeing one of the men reach out and skim his shoulder, jongdae sent a small puff go fire to the step directly in front of the sailer. the man screamed as the step became ablaze, distracting the rest of the men for jongdae to get closer to the door at the top. 

shouts of profanities were the only thing jongdae heard while he sprinted up the stairs. the door, unlike every other thing on the ship, was made of metal. and locked. great. 

jongdae stood frozen for a second, again trying to breath and think of a plan. he could wait until the sailors put out the fire or try to bust down the door. one option had a happier ending. 

sweat trickled down jongdae's nose as he tried to push the door open, slamming his shoulder into the metal, hand around the lock, trying to melt it. 

the yells of the men behind were getting closer, the sound of boots on wood and skin on metal filling jongdae's ears. his shoulder started to hurt after the third hit, his hand cramping as the energy in it buzzed. 

jongdae could hear the door creaking after the fifth hit, the lock becoming softer, the shouts down the stairwell getting closer. 

just as jongdae felt a hand starting to encircle his bicep, the lock gave out under his palm and the door flew open. light flooded the dark stairwell, making jongdae squint and the hand retract from his arm. the men all groaned from the sudden change, taking a step back from the harshness, causing some of them to fall down a few steps. 

despite being just as unprepared for the sudden burst of light, jongdae scrambled out of the hole, crawling over the lip of the door frame and hastily slamming it shut before the sailors could recover. jongdae could hear the commotion around him as he leaned over the door to melt the cracks shut. 

looks like the stairs led to the deck.

jongdae didn’t have much time before there was a shout behind him. 

“you there!” jongdae snapped his head over his shoulder, his heart rate picking up again. there was a man standing a few feet away from him. there were men all around jongdae actually, but this one was dressed in bright red, a sash around his middle and high boots. 

jongdae was around officials long enough to recognize this man as the caption. 

“who are you?” the man started walking over to jongdae's crouched figure. “and what are you doing on my ship?”

jongdae's eyes bugged. he was gonna get caught and sent back and this whole thing was going to be for nothing. he mumbled a short ‘shit’ as he hastily stood up and began running in the other direction. 

another onset of yells reached jongdae's ears, but he was too focused on getting off the damn boat to notice. he pushed sailors out of his way, squeezed through barrels being moved around, and jumped over men working on tying the ship down. 

there was commotion all around him. yells of ‘get back here!’s, ’stop right there!’s, and ‘just catch him!’s were almost suffocating jongdae's mind. he couldn’t think straight. the energy in him was trying to desperately to get out, he almost couldn’t control. jongdae could feel the wood under him creaking and blackening under every stomp of his feet. the raw heat under jongdae's skin trying to escape. 

jongdae suddenly ran into the railing of the ship. hands smacking into the wood, probably leaving splinters. his forward momentum almost made jongdae go crashing overboard, his head going two feet past the edge. 

jongdae stared at the shimmering water below him. it was blue and he could almost make out little fish swimming around. his breath was fast and labored as he looked over his shoulder. there are at least fifteen men running straight at him. all yelling and waving around some type of weapon. 

there was a short breeze across jongdae's neck, bringing his mind a little back into focus. he turned back to look at the water, took one breath, steadied his hands on the railing (leaving dark marks signed into the wood), and jumped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for leaving at a cliff hanger, but i didn't want it to go too far over 3k. also yay for fast chapter updates!!


	3. Moss Covered Caves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he can’t complain.
> 
> he wanted to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so even after i deleted this chapter i didn't work on it after, so ill just reupload it.   
> -  
> I'm really really stressed right now, so there won't be any updates for a few weeks. i hope that if any of you are really liking this, that you will understand and wait until i can come back to this

the water was cold on jongdae's skin, making him gasp without warning, breathing in water. the sudden change in his body temperature almost made jongdae pass out. his mind fogging for a split second before he remembered that there are fifteen sailors with weapons just above the surface.

when his broke the surface, jongdae started coughing while trying to stay afloat. his bangs were in his eyes and there was probably water in his lungs. it feels like he lost a shoe in the water and jongdae can feel something rubbing against the side of his leg. but he was more concerned at the splash that appeared right next to his face. 

jongdae whirled around, as much as he could in the water, and looked up at the ship. the captain was leaning over the side of the boat, pointing a small crossbow in jongdae's direction. he yelped as an other slash happened on the other side of him and dove under the water. 

the water was mercy, but jongdae could see at least four arrows in the space around him. one was through a fish. a few more arrows joined jongdae, along his path towards the shore. he could make out a pillar of wood a few feet in front of him, which he guessed was part of the doc. 

with jongdae's lungs slowly running out of air, he swam as fast as he could toward the doc. he could feel the water getting warmer as he got closer to the shore. jongdae reached the edge of the doc before his vision began getting dark. he needed air. 

the second jongdae's head appeared above the water, there were at least three splashes around him, making his heart stop. either he was a hard target to hit or the captain had shit aim. 

jongdae quickly ducked under the doc, trying to get away from the crossbow. he brought a hand up to wipe his bangs out of his eyes, trying to see better. he coughed once and then blinked more than four times. 

from where he was, jongdae could see that there was a small latter closer to the shore. probably someone's private doc. there was yelling above him to his left, he guessed the sailors had made a break or the other docs when jongdae went out of sight. 

if jongdae was going to get out of his mess, he would have to move fast. he started for the latter, ignoring the feeling of things dragging against his feet and legs, ignoring the feeling of his lungs screaming for a brake. he had to get out of the water. 

the latter was slippery, but the doc was dry and jongdae was immensely happy to be on something unmoving after seven days of nonstop swaying. jongdae laid on his back, trying to catch his breath.

however, his head shot up when he heard the far away yelling getting closer. the sailors were a few docs away, carrying more weapons from before, knocking people over. the captain was in front. 

‘these guys must really hate stowaways.’ jongdae thought before he heaved himself off the dock and began running in the opposite direction as the men. 

there was a group of women up near a shop, a few feet away from the end of the peer. they were laughing and smiling and as much as jongdae didn’t want to interrupt them, they looked like the perfect diversion. 

picking up a bit of speed, jongdae ran straight through the crowd. only squeaking out a quick, “sorry ladies!”, before turned into an ally. jongdae pushed his back against the wall and hoped that the sailors didn’t see where he turned. 

jongdae heard more screams of the women and grunts and yells of the men. they must have taken the same rout as jongdae. jongdae shut his eyes tight as he heard the men come barreling down the street. he didn’t open his eyes until he was sure the sailors were long gone. 

then he sank to the ground. 

jongdae was wet, he was tired, he was cold, and his mind was racing. he felt worse than he did the night of the storm. he put his hands on his knees and stared at the ground. he breathed in the air around him, trying to clear the water in his brain. 

the ground made him colder, made his butt hurt, made the energy in his body slow down and almost stop. almost. the dirt under him was slowly getting darker, soaking up the water dripping off him. there was a faint ringing in his ears. jongdae couldn’t tell if it was because of all the water sloshing around between his ears or because something else. everything else. 

jongdae felt drained, tired, cold. he felt like a sponge that wouldn't take anymore water. he leaned his head back on wall, staring at the sky. it was blue like water. blue like the water on him. blue like him. jongdae took a breath. 

after everything that happened, he really just wanted to get away. get away from this town, this harbor, this ship. this. everything. the blue was blinding him, making the ringing sharper, so jongdae closed his eyes. he focused on trying to calm his heart, trying to make him not feel red. trying to get rid of the purple that was surely blending together in his insides. 

there was screaming coming from down the street. gruff yelling and things being knocked over. jongdae should probably get up. he should probably go look for some place to hide. somewhere the sailors can’t find him, somewhere save. 

but the sun was warming his face and making the colors go away. so jongdae breathed in the warmth until he couldn’t feel his butt anymore and stood up. 

there was a sharp crashing sound down the street again, closer. it made jongdae jump a little, his heart crawling up his throat and on his tongue. he should get moving. 

-

the village was cute. from what jongdae saw. the huts were all small and homey. there were a lot of gardens, lots of people in the gardens. they looked at jongdae when he paced by. with their floppy hats and glove covered hands and their dirt covers knees.

jongdae didn’t really understand why they were farming in the first place. walking through the main village and around some trails, everything was rocky. there wasn’t much grass, mostly just brown or grey everywhere. but the people were out there, trying to dig in hard soil and plant things.

it made jongdae smile. they all worked so hard to achieve something impossible. it was cute. jongdae wished he could be that dedicated. maybe he could be cute too.

but the village was cute and jongdae liked it nonetheless. it reminded him of home. all hard surfaces over soft. all sharp corners covering round people. the trails he took were pretty and the things that did grow were pretty. the island was just pretty. he likes it. 

after about what felt like hours of walking and watching people and people watching him, jongdae comes near the coast again. at first he thinks that he just made a giant circle and is back at the harbor. but then he sees rocks and small bushes and nothing close to being ships, so he guessed it's just an empty part of the shore. someplace no one comes too. there doesn’t seem to be anyone around. 

the huts stopped popping up a while ago. the people stopped and the gardens stopped. it was all rocks and ocean and bushes. 

there were clouds in the sky now, making everything seem so much lonelier than it already is. jongdae looks around the shore, avoiding the waves that splashed up on the rocks. his shoes are already soaked through from earlier. everything seems cold and damp. from the rocks to the bushes. everything. it makes jongdae feel dryer in comparison. 

he spots a small cave near the tree line, almost imbedded into the drop off. the waves are splashing under it, trying to get in. but once jongdae gets closer everything seems dry. so he goes in. 

climbing over the lip of rocks was challenging. there wasn’t any traction. the waves and smoothness of the rocks making it hard for jongdae's slippery shoes to get a hold. once he’s over the ledge, it's darker. the cave looks to go on forever. the back of the walls being covered in a cloud of darkness. 

there are stalactites hanging from the ceiling, making the space jongdae has to stand even smaller. he’s hunched over a little, making his neck hurt. there were a few puddles here and there, but nothing jongdae couldn’t evaporate before sitting. 

there was a sudden burst of light in the cave, jongdae having just made a small fire ball to see by. walking around he could see that a good chunk of the walls were covered in moss. thick blankets of plants. jongdae wanted a blanket. maybe the moss would stay together enough that he could use it to keep warm. 

about where the cave got pitch black there was a clear space of rock. jongdae's clothes made a squishing sound when he sat down. he felt terrible. every part of his body was chafing. places he didn’t even think could chafe. it was uncomfortable and the sooner he got out of his wet clothes the better. 

the climb into the cave made jongdae a little winded for some reason. air coming short into his lungs and ground seeming shaky. the fire in jongdae's hand felt warm, but week at the same time. he stared at it for a long time before shaking his head and taking his bag off his back. everything inside was wet or damp. the clothes were all crinkled and some of the parchment he brought was soft. he hoped nothing was completely ruined. 

he hoped he had enough money to buy anything that was ruined. he hoped his clothes didn’t permanently smell like ocean and barf. he hoped.

grabbing a fist full of moss, jongdae scooted over into the middle of the cave. he marked out a place for a fire. placing the moss in a damp spot and then crawling around the ground to find decent sized rocks to make a little ring around the green plant. most of the rocks he found were wet, so he supposed they would keep the fire inside the pit. 

jongdae placed the fireball on the moss. it instantly ignited and jongdae smiled. he hoped it stayed strong through the night. after he was sure that the fire was stable and that there was enough moss. then he let sat cross legged on the ground.

while watching the moss crinkle and twist in the fire, jongdae absentmindedly thinks that this is his life now. that he was boomed to spend his days hiding away from people. hiding away from the cute gardens. hiding away from screaming sailors. hiding away from the royal palace and the people in it. hiding. hiding. hiding. 

jongdae shortly thinks that he’ll be damp forever. that he’ll just end up jumping into lakes or streams or the ocean every time he’s in trouble. he shortly thinks that he’ll have to carry around a little puff of fire everywhere, desperately trying to get warm and get dry. 

jongdae think about a lot of things. allowing his mind to run wild for awhile. allowing every piece of energy to whiz around his bones, let it bounce over every speck of his being and then back again. he let the color of the fire cloud his vision, let the black around him fade out. jongdae let the white noise around him clog his ears.

it calmed him to do this. to allow his mind and his body to become separate. letting his mind race and run and jump and think. while his body became still and unmoving. it felt nice to allow himself a moment of peace in a life of chaos. normally everything about him would be hectic. always running around and trying to talk to people and trying to get people to do things and trying trying trying to prove to himself and everyone around him that he was okay and that his brain wasn’t trying to implode. 

that's why jongdae always snuck out at night. that's why he would stay out late into the night, walking around the city, talking to people, do things. to have a break from himself. to almost become a whole other person. 

in the palace, jongdae was expected to be a proper son. stand up straight, look straight ahead and don’t speak. walk where he was told to walk and say what he was told to say. be who he was told to be. he was never alone. either being followed around by maids or with his family or in a meeting. he was prince kim jongdae, with his perfect clothes and perfect hair and perfect posture and perfect everything. 

but on the city streets, he was just jongdae. he didn’t have to talk right or walk right or be right. he didn’t have to wear the royal robes all the time. he didn’t have to watch what he ate or practice his lessons. he didn’t have to be the backup son or the second jongmin or his father's second favorite. jongdae could be jongdae. 

he could go to restaurants and get junk food or go gamble or just walk around and admire the city for what it is and what the people are. they weren’t data points on a graph and they weren’t numbers on a spreadsheet. they were people and they made jongdae feel alive. 

he would talk to children and their parents or so to shops and mess around. jongdae had a few friends around the city and they would sometimes hang out. they would laugh and shout and have a good time and jongdae felt like an actual person rather than someone made out of paper and glue. 

the royal city was big and open and it felt more like home than the palace did. jongdae had so much fun during his night outings. sometimes he would chicken out on his friends adventures, too afraid of having his parents finding out and freaking out. sometimes the adrenaline pumping in his veins would overwhelm his judgement and he would say yes to anything. 

jongdae remembers the morning his mother saw his lip ring. she almost had a heart attack. his father had screamed at him, making jongdae's cheeks flush because neither his mom nor his brother had thought to tell the maids to leave the room before his father exploded. the whole ordeal got ten times worse when jongdae refused to take it out. jongmin had to hold their mother up to stop her from falling over. his father just yelled louder. 

he was grounded for a month but it didn’t stop jongdae from continuing his night adventures after his parents had calmed down. jongdae liked getting away and he wasn’t going to stop. 

but now jongdae thinks he might have taken it a bit far. he’s in a cave on an island near the tip of the fire nation, miles and miles away from the royal palace and the city and his family. and he’s not so sure if he liked it or not. 

the thought made the black at the edge of jongdae's vision creep into the yellow. it allowed the noise in his mind to quiet and his body to come back. he registered the ground under his legs and the ocean just a few feet to his right. 

he didn’t know if he liked being away or not. 

he didn’t know. 

the wetness of his clothes suddenly became heightened. the cold biting at his fingers became almost painful. suddenly jongdae felt completely uncomfortable. he scrambled up to his feet, forgetting that the ceiling was low and hit his head. jongdae swore as pain fractured across his skull and he shut his eyes. 

a loud boom makes him open almost in that very moment. there was a flash of light at the mouth of the cave and it occurred to jongdae that it was raining. he didn’t even notice. too absorbed in his mind. his shoulders slump and a hoarse breath escapes his mouth. 

great, more water.

more chances to be damp forever. 

jongdae sits back down and moves his hand around the fire, making it a little bigger. he wonders how the time could have gone that fast. it was a little after midday when he arrived at the cave. and now it seemed to be almost sunset. that doesn’t make any sense. jongdae scowled at the red flame in front of him. 

maybe he shouldn’t have allowed his mind to slip so much. maybe he shouldn’t have thought so much about so little. he has more things to worry about than liking living in a cave or liking being alone or just plan knowing anything. like drying his clothes or making sure he doesn’t freeze to death or starving.

there was another loud boom and jongdae had to stop himself from accidentally blowing up the fire. he’s easily startled. 

it was darker in the cave now, but jongdae looked around for his bag. it was still damp, most of the items in it were wet and smelled funny. he took everything out. placing his extra clothes around the fire and then everything else behind himself. he hoped that would dry everything out. it needed to.

the wind outside was running in the mouth of the cave, making jongdae and the fire shiver. the island was colder than the mainland. the fire was warm, but jongdae was certain that without it, on account of his wet clothes, he would get a cold easily. jongdae wasn’t used to the cold. he didn’t like it. 

there was another clap of thunder and it made jongdae close his eyes. his hands went up to his ears and he crossed his legs under him. his mind was already too loud already, he didn’t need more sound. 

with his eyes closed, jongdae could almost pretend he was inside. someplace where the heater didn’t work or maybe he was by a window. he pretended that there were other people there with him. maybe his mom or jongmin. 

jongmin, who would have closed the window or fixed the heater or put a blanket around him. jongmin, who would have hugged him and let jongdae's mind race and race and race until he fell asleep. jongmin, who, when they were young, would have let jongdae under his blanket and hid him from monsters. jongmin, who wasn’t there and couldn’t do any of those things. because jongdae left.

because jongdae left.

the hands around jongdae's ears started to tremble and his face started to heat up. jongdae held his breath. 

there's no need to cry over something that’s already been done. something he can’t do anything about. something he wanted. he can’t cry over something he wanted to happen. 

because jongdae wanted to leave

despite the hands over his ears, the next clap of thunder broke through and made jongdae flinch. despite jongdae's eyes being held shut tightly, he could see the light aluminizing the cave go out. despite the immense energy crossing threw jongdae's body, the heat on his face, jongdae left cold. 

it took a few minutes for jongdae to calm down. a few more thunderclaps. a few more gusts of wind. a few more shivers. but jongdae eventually opened his eyes. took his hands off his ears. 

he could see the mouth of the cave getting darker, the rain creeping in over the lip of rocks. jongdae crawled over to his clothes he put out near the fire and brought them further into the darkness around him. no use in leaving them to dry overnight and waking up to them soaked again.

jongdae stuffed them into his bag again, hoping to dry them in the morning. he took a look around. at the walls of moss. at the mouth of the cave. at the rocks on the floor. at the stalactites on the ceiling. at the smoldering fire pit. at his hands, his feet. 

jongdae laid down. the rock was cool beneath his head, beneath his arms. another burst of lightning made jongdae turn to face the back of the cave. in the darkness, swirls filled his vision and the impression of the fire was surrounding the edges. 

the sound of rain filled his ears and the smell of earth reached his nose. everything filled him up, but he still felt cold. 

but he can’t complain.

because he wanted to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all liked this chapter, there won't be another update for a while


	4. Warm Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the warmth on his wrist and back increased just slightly and then left when the boy withdrew his hands. jongdae watched him sling a long pole over his shoulder and then turn to grab a bag beside him. jongdaes bag. right. he fell in the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah so i know i haven't added a lot to this but I've been busy with school and stuff so I'm sorry. also i didn't expect this to such a slow burn, but in this chapter they finally meet so yay! tell me what you think and feel free to leave kudos if you want to!

the first thing jongdae did when he woke up was wonder where he was. his mind didn’t register the sound of rain or the smell of dirt. it didn't make it known to him that he was freezing or that even if his eyes were open, it was still dark. 

it only supplied him with questions. why am i cold? why am i on something cold? why am i cold? what's happening?

he was much too content to stay lying there, trying to figure out where he was. but a sound reached his ears and it kept him from slipping into sleep once more. it was arguably an annoying sound. loud but wobbling ever so slightly. it made jongdae screw up his face, squeeze his eyes closed and groan slightly. 

the sound left for a short time, but then it was back louder. it echoed against the walls and went on for many minutes. jongdae groaned again and started to sit up. 

with his clearing head, jongdae's surrounds came into focus. the walls of the cave came back. the fire pit, the ocean, the ship, the angry captain, the cute villagers, the cold rock he was sitting on. everything came back. the sound was back too.

jongdae's head was still foggy, but he knew he needed to find out what woke him up. it was still raining but there wasn’t any dark clouds or thunder anymore. the rock was cold under his hands and his knees were getting soaked from the puddles he was crawling through.

it was cloudy and the rain made it hard to see. but once jongdae had climbed out of the cave, he could see a dark shape in the mist. it was tall, moved around a lot. it looked like a wiggly tree. but without any leaves or branches. there were shouts coming from the threes direction. maybe that was the noise. 

he squinted and took a step forward. like that would do anything to help him see what the blob was. the slight wind blew his bangs into his eyes and the waves under his feet crashed over his ankles. a shiver ran up his back, but jongdae didn’t notice. the blob sure did move around a lot. 

as the sleep from his brain slowly seeped out and his eyes adjusted the rain, the blob stopped looking so much like a blob and started to look like a person. maybe it was a villager that needed a break from all the cute huts. 

jongdae shivered again and turned back to his cave to retrieve his bag. he was again soaked, coming out of the cave was a bad decision. as jongdae crawled through the cave, he shot a few puffs of fire in front of him. the small gusts of heat warmed his face and made a little feeling come back to it. the islands were definitely colder than the main land. 

once he had his bag, warmed up his hands a little more, stuffed his now dry clothes in it, jongdae crawled back out of the cave. 

while he turned around to climb out butt first, he lost his footing. the rain making the rocks slick and the moss depleting the little traction his boots had left. he fell into the rocky water under him with a yell.

the water rushed into his mouth and a cough escaped him, but that only caused jongdae to splutter and flail against the rocks. the water was foamy and filled of dirt. it stung his eyes and forced them shut. his lungs felt on fire. which, if jongdae wasn’t trying not to drown, he would have found funny. 

the rocks knocked against his feet and he felt one of them snag on something. pain went up his leg and his mouth fell open in a silent yell. even more water rushed into his mouth and in his lungs. a split second later, jongdae realized he was stuck. 

his eyes were closed and his foot was caught on something and he was running out of air and he was trapped under water. 

he felt lightheaded and if he was on land he would have tried to catch himself from falling, but he was in water. and all that happened was his hands loosening around his throat and his legs stopping their kicking and his mouth slowly opening.

jongdae felt the warmth leave his fingers as the feeling of sleep washed over him. 

-

pressure.

pressure and quiet words. 

over and over. 

that’s all he felt. and then there was light and his ears unclogged and the pressure became more intense. something was creeping up his throat and he could breath. he couldn’t tell if it was because of the pressure or something else. 

the thing in his throat was creeping faster and faster and with a small gasp jongdae rolled over on his side and started coughing. wetness fell past his lips and he briefly registered his hand falling onto something warm. 

his head was spinning and his chest burned and he was gasping, gasping, gasping for breath over and over. with every cough water trickled over his lips and it felt weird and made his eyes burn with the strain. 

it took a minute but jongdae managed to gain control of his breathing and he closed his eyes, rolling onto his back. feeling the rain on half of his face puzzled him, but he didn’t think much of it at that moment. he almost died but he didn’t and he felt weird. 

“are- are you okay?” somewhere over his head there was someone speaking. the warm thing under his hand moved slightly, making him move his hand to his chest. he rubbed at his heart just to make sure it still worked and opened his eyes.

there was a face over him, blocking the harsh light from the sun and the rain. it looked young and stone faced. but the eyes that moved fast across jongdae's face gave away his fear. in the second of silence after the question, jongdae realized that the face was attached to a person and that said person probably wanted an answer. 

the light hurt his eyes, so he closed them before answering. “i think so?” he rubbed a little at his heart again, heating his fingers at the same time. yep still beating, still warm, still okay. “yeah, just. just one moment.”

the rain reached the rest of jongdae's face as the person leaned back a little. the rain felt weird on his face and his eyebrows drew together. he already felt so wet, like he was melting into the ground. jongdae missed the warmth. 

as he sat up, a groan escaped his lips and his head swam in pain. 

“careful.” there was a hand on his shoulder. warm. “i think you hit your head.” 

jongdae brought a hand up to his forehead. his bangs stuck to his skin and it was cold. but near his hairline he felt something warm. thumbing at his, he hissed in pain and withdrew his hand quickly. the hand on his shoulder moved to his wrist and another hand went to his back. 

“i hit my head.” jongdae frowned at the blood on his thumb, it ran down his wrist. the rain making little dots in the track. 

his wrist was starkly warmer than the rest of him. his back too. where the hands were. the presence of the person with the stony face came back to him and jongdae turned to look at them. 

it was a boy, wearing a red cloak. jongdae could see a faded pink under it and brown boots. the boy had black hair, cropped short. interesting. jongdae wasn’t used to seeing many people with this haircut. the palace servants were made to have high buns on the top of their heads. always with a little red or orange ribbon to tie them with. 

“i hit my head.” jongdae repeats, not really sure what to say to this boy. he’s obviously the person who saved him. the boys hair was plastered to his head and the pink tunic looked just as soaked as jongdae felt. “I’m bleeding.” 

the warmth on his wrist and back increased just slightly and then left when the boy withdrew his hands. jongdae watched him sling a long pole over his shoulder and then turn to grab a bag beside him. jongdae's bag. right. he fell in the water. 

jongdae looked back at his bloody thumb, the redness creeping over his palm and onto this sleeve. he could feel, what he assumed to be blood, running down his face. something went off in jongdae's head. a thought like the boy would leave him alone, bleeding and steal his bag as well. jongdae couldn’t do much to follow. any sudden moves hurt his head and his legs felt numb. 

“wait!” jongdae didn’t really know what he was saying, but he couldn’t think straight and he needed his bag. he had things in there he needed. “don’t leave.” 

the boy stopped, in the middle of standing up, and looked up jongdae. his face held a question, but a second later, he was standing again. “I’m not leaving.” he pulling his cloak away from his legs. it clung right back. “I’m helping you up.”

a hand was in front of his face and jongdae blinked once and took it. he groaned again when he started lifting himself again. his head was pounding and his breathing was hard. he needed to stop bleeding soon. when the hand holding his loosened, jongdae tired to take a step forward to test if he could actually move his legs. 

he yelled out when his right foot met the ground and he crumpled to his knees. the hands were back. warm on his back and shoulder.

“i- i think i hurt my ankle.” jongdae stuttered while he clutched his foot. it was hard to notice the pain when his feet were so cold, but when he tried to roll his ankle, he missed in pain. not the kind of heat he needed. “i don’t think i can walk.” 

“i uh, i had to pull a little hard to get your boot unstuck from the rocks.” the boys hands hovered around his toes. like they were scared of touching jongdae and unintentionally hurting him. “sorry.” 

jongdae looked at the boy and then back at his ankle. it hurt and stung and his toes were numb. but this kid saved him. he couldn’t be mad. the boy already looked worried. 

“its okay. just-“ jongdae moved his hands to support himself from behind, trying to lift off with only one foot. “help me up.” 

the boy took his hand, a more comforting warmth traveled up his arm as his other hand landed under jongdae's armpit. he was heaved up and his right arm was slung over the boys shoulders. he was taller than jongdae. a good two inches maybe. 

when jongdae was righted, he felt a hand around his waist. his weight was help up my the boy and jongdae looked down at his bend leg. he wouldn’t be able to walk without help for at least a few days.

with a check to see if jongdae was okay, the two were off. jongdae vaguely recognized that they were heading away from his cave. in the direction of the flailing blob. every hop of jongdae's leg made blunt pain throb against the cut on his head. he needed to stop bleeding fast. 

“thank you by the way.” jongdae hoped that a small conversation would help distract from his throbbing head and his ankle. “and i, uh, never got your name.”

their boots sloshed through the mud and jongdae could feel his pants getting wetter. he really needed to get dry.

“sehun.” the boy’s voice, now sehun’s voice, was quiet, but since it was by jongdae's ear he could hear it clearly. sehun fell silent after that. the only sound left was rain on grass and boots on mud.

jongdae’s face was still screwed up in pain but he felt light and wet and really needed a distraction from everything so he kept talking. 

“I’m jongdae.” sehun hummed but didn’t saying. the trees ahead of them were getting closer and the waves to the left were splashing against rocks and jongdae couldn’t wait to be inside and dry and warm. “where are we going? and how long before we get there?”

“my house.” the warmth around jongdae's back grew stronger. the hand on his own squeezing ever so much. “about five more minutes i think.” 

it was a familiar warmth. one jongdae has grown accustomed too. one he has had to provide for himself since he left the caste. if he was stronger he would give a little back to sehun. let him know that he’s felt it and that he appreciates it. its cold and jongdae feels gross. 

he settles on trying to shift his weight so its on totally on the boy and focuses on not passing out. 

they walk in silence then. surrounded by rain and grass and waves and cold and fog. jongdae thinks he can hear tiger-bullfrogs off in the forest. the croaking hushed by the rushing in his ears. the mud on his leg feel like it will never come off. covering his pants and his boots. when they pass over a big puddle, the splash of his hop reaches his mid thigh and he grimaces at the feeling. 

jongdae wonders if he’s getting blood on sehun's cloak. and he wonders what actually happened when he blacked out in the water. he wonders was happened to the blob in the distance and he wonders if sehun was the blob. but he looks to solid it be falling around everywhere. 

he wonders if the rain has soaked through his extra set of clothes. and then he wonders if he actually put everything in his bag. he sighs and figures he can go and check after he can walk again. no use in turning around and dragging sehun everywhere. no point in getting them because no on in their right mind would climb up into a cave that overlooks rocky water. 

but he’s jongdae and he was tired and cold last night. so he wasn’t in his right mind and he climbed into a cave that overlooks rocky water and fell into the rocky water and now has a nasty cut on his head and a twisted ankle. jongdae sighs again. 

he’s too focused on keeping up with sehun's fast feet and trying not to lean too much into him, that he doesn’t notice the house in front of them until the pebble path comes into his view. he looks up when sehun all but screams in his ear for his mom. 

they are walking faster now. towards the porch and jongdae tries to speed up his hopping but he’s not much help and his head hurts and he’s trying not to cry, he’s in so much pain. 

a small women comes running around the house. she’s dressed much the same as sehun, but she has a hat on. and gloves. is she really working in a garden in this weather? 

jongdae hears a small yelp and then his other arm is being thrown over the womens shoulder and the two strangers are essentially carrying him up the steps and into the house. his boot skids against the wood and jongdae hopes it doesn’t leave a mark. 

“sehun, what happened?!” the women is frantic as she sets jongdae in a chair. jongdae hisses as his ankle hits the sides of a table and then the arms are off his back and hand and the warmth is gone once again. “i thought you were fishing? are you hurt?!” 

sehun looks at the ground momentarily and then back at his mother. jongdae looks at her too. she’s rummaging through cabinets, taking out a rag and a bowl and some other bottle jongdae can’t read from his seat.

“no mother,” sehun sets jongdae's bag behind his chair and removes the pole from his back. with the movement of his cloak, jongdae can see something glint near his hip but then it's gone and sehun is gliding across the room to grab the bowl his mother has set out. “i'll get the water.”

and jongdae’s alone with a worrying women who’s grumbling something while walking back and forth from the cabinets at the left to the trough at the right. 

“miss-“ jongdae tries to interrupt her mumbling, wanting to assure her that he’s okay. just a little banged up. “miss, I’m alright.” 

“oh shh, you’re bleeding.” her words are harsh, but her tone makes it seem like she cares. she has only been aware of jongdae for less then five minutes and she already sounds worried about him. “sehun! hurry up with that water! your friend is bleeding.” she hollers out of the back door and then sehun is there and he’s handing her the bowl, trying not to spill the water. 

sehun's mother comes over the table and pulls out a chair next to jongdae. she soaks the rag quickly and then abruptly slows her arm to dab at jongdae's head. he hisses once and then calms down when her hand reaches for his hand clutching his knee. 

“he also hurt his ankle.” sehun is still standing at the door frame. he’s wet and his hair is still plastered against his forehead. his cloak hangs down by the middle his calfs and he looks pale. “where's the wrappings?”

jongdae can’t move his head. it hurts too much with sehun's moms prodding. so he can’t see sehun move behind them to the trunk his mother motioned too. he comes into sight once again and mimes his mother. pulls out a chair and quickly opening a small box before slowing his hands and reaching for jongdae's foot. 

to try and help sehun, jongdae lifts his foot a little and tries not to jerk away when sehun gently pulls it off his foot. the skin around his ankle is red and raw and there are little scratches around his heel. the top of his foot looks a little swollen. he’s lucky if he can walk in less than a week. 

if it took all his strength to not flinch away from sehun's hands when he took off his boot, it takes even more to stop himself from pulling his foot away when sehun starts poking around the red skin. he hears a soft ‘sorry’ but sehun doesn’t say anything more. 

the mother and son duo are working in silence and jongdae feels weird. he doesn’t know these people and they are both delicately touching his wounds and trying to help. his breath feels heavy and his hisses and small movements are pronounced in the quiet kitchen. 

“who’s this?” jongdae glances over to the back door to see a man coming into the kitchen but then goes back to staring at his knees to try and stop himself from pushing away the tender hand on his head. 

“sehun brought home a friend.” the sehuns mom says. it's quiet and not at all patronizing. nothing like jongdae's own mother. she sounds genuine. like jongdae is someone from sehun's school and they happened to be wrestling a little too roughly in the backyard. 

jongdae flicks his eyes in front of him to gage sheen’s reaction. but the boy is focused on wrapping jongdae's ankle. gently pulling the fabric around red skin and stilling when he feels jongdae tense. 

“does this friend have a name?” the man from the door is at the troff now. setting down gloves near the window and walking to the icebox on the other side of the table. “what happened to his head?” 

“i’m-“ 

“he doesn’t need to tell us his name if he doesn’t want to.” sehun's mother says clearly to the man, her hand stiling and then picking right back up. the cloth has trailed down jongdaes neck to pick up tray drops of blood.

jongdae's eyes flick to sehun again. too see if the boy has tuned back in and will supply his name for him. but his attention is still on jongdaes foot. the hand on his calf is warm and jongdae appreciate the gesture.

“no, its okay.” jongdae tries to look at the man sitting on the other side of the table. he has a glass of water. sipping while watching the mother and son work. “I’m jongdae.” 

the man hums and sips his water. this seems to be a quiet family. jongdae hasn’t decided if he liked it. 

if this was his own family, they would be asking question after question. where did he come from, what happened, what job does his father have, is his mother a good cook, perhaps they should invite them over for dinner. the adults could talk like adults while the children play in the corner. the types of questions that were invasive and loud and only looked for a way to benefit from this wet boy in their kitchen. but that was home.

sehun's family was quiet. but jongdae was used to talking and questions and orders and directions. 

jongdae looked away from the man and moved back to his knees. the pain in his ankle had lessened. the wrap might have helped but he was sure not hopping around and having it flop at his side helped. and the warmth. his head still hurt. he couldn’t tell if he was still bleeding but he didn’t feel anything run down his face. 

“well jongdae, how did you hurt yourself?” the man was talking again, but he didn’t seem invasive. it was only natural to want to know why the strange boy in your kitchen was hurt. 

jongdae tried to turn his head to look at the man, but sehun's mother turned him to look ahead. then another piece of cloth was wrapping around his head. around his forehead and near his neck. jongdae cleared his throat and tried to answer without moving. 

“i, uh, fell into the water near the shore.” he watched sehun tuck the last of the wraps near the arch of his foot and then stand up. jongdae's foot was placed on the chair and sehun when to put the small box back in the trunk. “i guess sehun heard me yell and helped me out. i-,” jongdae squinted at his knees, trying to remember what happened but only getting bits and pieces. “i think.”

the hands on his head left and jongdae was left with a slight pressure around his head. he probably looked stupid, but the pressure was gladly welcome since the pain had decreased significantly. 

sehun was sitting next to the man now. taking the glass from him, taking a sip, and then handing it back. the man didn’t bat an eye. jongdae stared and repressed the urge to ask why the man didn’t smack sehun's hand away before he even touched the glass. 

“that must have been quite a fall.” the man looked at jongdae with a small frown. jongdae just keeps getting surprised at how much caring this family is. if was found by himself, jongdae would go to the stables instead of seeking out his mother. she would probably just usher him into the washroom with this mystery guest and whine about getting mud on her carpets. 

“your grandpa needs a little help with the last few boxes, sehun. before the rain flushes everything away.” the man took the last sip of water and then clapped sehun on the back. the two stood up and jongdae watched sehun open the door for the man, then pull up the hood of his cloak, and follow him out of the house. 

jongdae sighed and looked back at his knees. sehun's mother was back at the troff and was ringing the rag in the water there. it was pink and jongdae could see dark brown stains on the fabric. 

“thank you miss.” jongdae sat up a little straighter in his chair. he should look presentable for her. she didn’t have to wrap his head and clean his cut. she didn’t have to do much at all. if sehun had given him the bowl and rag and told him to lean himself up before he got blood on the table, he would. 

after a few years of hiding minor scrapes and bruises from his parents, he had mastered the art of cleaning without looking. 

“its no problem dear.” she turned around, towel sliding across her hands to dry them. she came closer and took her seat next to him. “I’m sure you felt terrible; all wet and bleeding in the rain like that.” her smile was bright and made jongdae smile back. just a little. 

jongdae looked around the room. from the small window above the troff to the mud shoe prints leading in and out of the door. 

“now,” sehun's mother stood and placed the rag on the table behind jongdae. “why don’t we get you out of those wet clothes.” 

she places a hand on his shoulder and the other grasps jongdae's hand, helping him stand. her hands weren’t that much warmer than his own and jongdae found himself craving the strength to create that ever so comforting heat underneath his own finger tips. 

she lead him into the hallway and up the stairs. jongdae could hear laughter out a window and he turned his head to watch sehun and the man from the kitchen smile while carrying boxes across the yard. an older man was in front of them, he was laughing too. 

jongdae wished he was dry and in other clothes and warm. 

he looked away from the window. away from the laughter and focused on not falling over on the floor rug.

**Author's Note:**

> there will be no post schedule for this; whenever i have time to write, i will. 
> 
> -
> 
> heres a link to everyones role in this au, not everyone will be in this fic specially, but in the whole story all 9 members are included: https://twitter.com/flowersformin/status/891807975878385665


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